White Horse

25 02 2009


Have you ever known a song that seems to be your life either at that moment or your whole life.  My song is White Horse by Taylor Swift…

White Horse lyrics

Say your sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to

As I pace back and forth all this time
‘Cause I honestly believed in you

Holdin’ on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,I should’ve known
I should’ve known

That I’m not a princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around

Maybe I was naive
Got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance
My mistake I didn’t know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand

I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings,
Now I know

That I’m not a princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around

And there you are on your knees
Beggin’ for forgivness
Beggin’ for me
Just like I always wanted but I’m soo sorry…..

That I’m not your princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually
Treat me well
This is a big world
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror dissapearin’ now
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now…..

Whoa ohhh ohhh ohhh oh
Try and catch me now
It’s too late…..


This is one of my life stories.  I don’t want to go in full detail here but if you want to understand just let me know and I will tell you what you want to know. I have been hurt so many times with guys growing up.  I have dated only a few and I don’t regret dating them but I was still hurt.

I have left for college and their are so many people here that their is hope that I can find someone that will treat me well and not hurt me.

I am no longer in that small town and it has been 2 years since I have really dated.  I was scared for the longest time and closed myself off from any guy.  Sure, I am still scared but I am ready.  It is time to move on from some of the pain.  Not all guys are going to hurt me.  I am a tough girl but I deserve more.  At least that is my belief for now.

I am ready to move on.


A Good Mood

24 02 2009

I am just in a super good mood right now.

I went to class this morning and stayed after to talk with the teacher about fixing the problem with my paper.  I had turned it in with plenty of time to spare.  However blackboard decided not to work and my paper wasnt in with the rest of the papers.  I am really happy that the teacher believed me because it was the first time that I have not procrastinated.  I am seriously that bad with procrastinating.

The sun was also out so that is really nice.  I really like the sunlight and the warmth.  That makes me really happy.


I also got a really nice compliment today.  I was pretty much told to that I just glow when I smile with my blue eyes and everything.  That was totally really sweet and I was excited to get a nice compliment.

After my doctor’s appointment I was walking home and chose to stop and get an ice cream cone.  I really like ice cream so that was nice to get myself a cone with peanut butter cup ice cream.


Now I am home and waiting for Alicia to come home and we will watch Veronica Mars.  I really like the show and it is fun watching it with Alicia as a roommate deal cuz she got them from her boyfriend but he has already watched them all so we are watching them together instead.

So that is my day so far.  I am in a good mood so you all better not try to ruin it.  I like being happy.

Tribute to Jessica

20 02 2009

I miss my Jessica!


I am sharing the story from how I know it…
A year ago on February 11th Jessica overdosed on pills and alcohol.  She went to the hospital and was life flighted to Portland on February 14th.  She was in a coma and was breathing on her own.  however, that part of her brain that made her who she was was no longer functioning.  therefore, on February 21st she was taken off life support and she passed away later that evening.

I had been friends with Jessica for a couple of years.  She and I were both in band together.  We were definitely some of the most gullible people in the class so it was entertaining.  I loved seeing her smile.  She was way cute and super funny.

I remember my last day of high school.  Jessica and Rebecca were skipping class to wait for Keeley and me to get to school.  When I pulled up, they were right at my parking spot with a bouquet of dyed daisies.  They got down on one knee and gave them to me and told me how good of a friend I had been.  I had been there when they needed a friend and I kept them from doing a lot of stupid things.

Even though I left for college, Jessica knew she could still call me.  We had a friend that screwing up her reputation and Jessica called me to talk to this girl.  I know that had to have been hard for her but things got better.

The last time I ever saw Jessica was during Christmas break last year.  I visited the high school and I ran into her at her locker.  I told her not to skip band that day because I was going to come visit.  Sadly, my mom wanted to go out for lunch so I never visited band.

It hurts that the last time I talked to her was a time I didn’t follow through on what I said I was going to do.  Ever since then I have done the best job that I can to be a good friend.  I don’t want the pain that I wasn’t there when someone needed me.  It hurts.

However, Jessica would want us to be happy.  She was a good friend to everyone that she cared about and had a wonderful spirit about her.  I think we could all use her example and try to better ourselves.

Whenever I am home and need to be alone and cry I go to Jessica’s grave.  I am comfortable enough to cry and just talk to her.  I want to believe that she is watching us and can hear me.  I miss her and I love her.

The day that she was pulled off of life support, her parents wrote to everyone.  This is what was said.

Last night was very difficult for Jessica. Some very difficult decisions had to be made by her family as to what kind of life Jessica would want for herself. The part of Jessica’s brain that makes Jessica who she is, no longer exists. Jessica would never be able to say “Hi!” or to even bring her hand to her face to brush back her hair. Keeping Jessica on the machines was becoming selfish of us as her family in wanting to keep her with us. Jessica would not want any of you to remember her this way. She would want you to remember how friendly, funny and beautiful she was. We were blessed to have her in our lives for the time that we did. God gave us a beautiful gift but now he wants her back. This is the hardest thing for a mother, father, brother, grandmother, etc. to decide and to deal with.

To all the kids:

You are all young and beautiful kids. You have so much to live for. College, marriage, family, grandkids….everything. We know that you all love her very much and it is very difficult for us to take away all of your hope. Just remember Jessica and how much life she had in her. You all are perfect and amazing in your own way. Don’t ever give up! Life always gets better!!

To our family:

Thank you for your prayers and support. Keep the prayers coming. We want to make sure Jessica goes straight to Jesus and sees His beautiful face. Keep praying that she can sit on that cloud in Heaven and drink mocha frappachino’s and chew on tootsie rolls. Let her run to the light and not hesitate. Give her peace.

To everyone else:

Thank you for your support and prayers. We still need them. Jessica has brothers and sisters that still need prayers. Nobody understands why this happened, especially to Jessica. Hold your children close and tell them you love them every day. Hug them every day. Make sure they understand how important they are to you. Tell them how special they are….

We would never wish this on any other child or family. This is the hardest thing we have ever had to do.

Another thing to read up on the story is the news article from the Eastern Oregonian.  The page is http://www.eastoregonian.info/main.asp?SectionID=13&SubSectionID=48&ArticleID=73812



Movie Frenzy

15 02 2009

So I really like movies.  Its true.

Since Alicia is hurt a number of movies have been playing.  I know she watched Princess Diaries on Friday night.  I didn’t get to watch it and it was on tv so if anyone has it, let me know.  I know she has also watched Hairspray and August Rush.  I don’t know what else.

I watched Odd Girl Out Friday night.  It was pretty good.  It is about girls in high school and how they bully each other.  To a point, it was sad cuz their was a girl who was popular but her friends went against her.  It was sad in a way because she really was a cute girl that had a lot to offer the world.  It is her journey through school and finding who her real friends are and who she is.

We went over to apartment 28 tonight to get movies because we decided not to watch any of ours.  We got Spiderwick Chronicles, The Last Mimzy, and a rollerblading movie.  (Daniel, if you read this, two of those are yours.  We will bring them back by Tuesday.)  We are currently watching Spiderwick chronicles.

We also have Maid in Manhattan from Adam and Alicia has Mama Mia for us too.

Do you guys have other suggestions of good movies?  I have netflix so I get movies every once in awhile from it.  I really like most type of movies except for scary movies.  I will watch them if I have someone to cuddle with. *wink wink*

Happy Vday to Everyone

14 02 2009

Sorry, I have gotten a few complaints that I haven’t written in a bit.  It has been a busy week for sure.  I have had three tests, three papers, and a lesson to teach.  I got through it just fine but some things just had to be put onto the back burner during that time.  Oh, the internet is being dumb in my apartment right now too.  I am lucky right now because I found a wireless signal.  Usually I don’t have one.


So what did you all do for Valentines Day?  Here was my Valentines day weekend plans.

Last night our church ward attended a valentines dance at an old folks home.  we were supposed to dance with the older people but they also like watching the young people mingle so we did that also.  Not too many older people showed up and a ton of people from my apartment complex did.  I was asked to dance by both of my home teachers, Daniel and Levi, and then also Jason.  When I danced with Daniel he told me to ask his roommate (also daniel) to dance, so I did.  I also dared him to ask at least 5 girls to dance.  I don’t know if he followed through with it because he is pretty shy.  It was a lot of fun though and all of the older people there were way cute.
This morning I went with Alicia to her ballet class that she teaches.  She slightly tore her MCL yesterday in her jazz class so she could drive and she was teaching while sitting in a chair.  It was a little bit frustrating for her but she still did a good job in my opinion.  Those girls really love her.  I wrote a whole paper in the time that I was sitting there so that was exciting.

We then went to Ashley’s bridal shower in Saratoga Springs.  Thank goodness the snow had finally let up a bit.  I am used to driving in a small town so driving in Utah County is intense and you add snow on top of that, not cool at all.  But we got good food at the shower and Ashley was way adorable.  I am super excited for her and Jared to get married in a month.

When I got home I delivered cookies to all of the girls in relief society with us.  Alicia and I made them last night and one of the other girls in the compassionate service committee delivered them with me.

Tonight Alicia and I had our date (her boy is out of town and I don’t have a boy at all so we were each other’s dates)  We went to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner and then went to the international folk dance ensamble concert at the Covey Art Center.  It was really cool.


now I am home and ready for bed.  It has been a busy day.

I wish you all a happy rest of Valentines Day and weekend.  No school on Monday for us.  I am super excited

A turn for the better

7 02 2009

so we will start with the not so cool stuff. I had a rough day on Wednesday. I was on three hours of sleep and had to do everything under the sun that day on campus. I had 4 hours of classes, 2 appointments, biology stuff. I had an hour break where I had to go home to get swim clothes for my class. i didn’t have it with me cuz I didn’t think I would be on campus that long so I got maybe half an hour at home before going to campus for class and came home to do a million more things. I cleaned up a good amount of the kitchen and took a shower and did laundry and everything else. I was really on edge and then a few girls from home decided that I wasn’t a good friend. Supposedly it was because I wasn’t there all the time when I was needed or something. And I was accused of not congratulating one girl on getting into Juliard. I swear i did. I remember having a conversation with her about it cuz I thought she was going for gym and I didn’t know they had gym there. sadly enough, she is going for dance. And then I was accused of being selfish and expecting everyone else to take care of me but I won’t help anyone else. It is so dumb. I am usually helping someone else and if I wasn’t there when they needed me it would have to mean that their was no way at all I could do it. I usually put things aside to help someone so it was out of my control if I was busy. But, both of the girls want nothing to do with me anymore

Yesterday, I knew they were talking about it with other people which was dumb. But I was doing ok for the most part. I had lunch with Becca, Alishia, and Kimi and took a good nap. Things weren’t getting any better with the girls that were upset with me and I was upset about the whole thing. then their was a knock at the door. It was my home teacher telling me he had extra tickets to the Draper Temple Open house that night and wanted to know if I wanted to go with them. It was what I needed right then for sure


I really enjoyed going to the draper temple. I had good company and it was just a great experience. The temple is absolutely beautiful and you peace you feel in there. Things are going to be ok.

Later on that night I was talking with an ex of mine. we were talking about fears and I told him that my greatest fear was disappointment. I then told him why. He decided that I have been through a lot in my life and made all of his problems look like nothing. I tole him that something I have learned through church was that we have a father in heaven that loves us and wants the best for us. He knows exactly what we need at this moment to grow and reach to him. Sure, everyone has different problems and some are harder than others but they are hard for us. we will never be tempted more than we can handle. After telling him that he said I was amazing and I was one of his heroes because of how I deal with things and the perspective I have on life. Bearing my testimony was amazing and it wasn’t scary at all. He was a friend that I felt needed to hear that right at that moment and who knows what will happen from there.

Groundhog Festivities

3 02 2009

So I can pretty much tell you that it was the best groundhog day of my life.

It was a normal day for the most part.  Classes, homework, cleaning things up a bit, and Family Home Evening.  But I managed to not have to walk to campus for my evening class. Lizzy gave me a ride to class and then another roommate was on campus and gave me a ride home with her.big_bill_in_groundhog-731047

The fun part was after FHE.  Alicia and I packed up homework and went over to Adam’s house to watch the movie groundhog day with him and a few of his friends.  We also watched a bit of Monk.  that was pretty funny too.  I can honestly say I was pretty comfortable on the couch too.

Then Alicia and I decided to leave and let Adam sleep.  We decided we were hungry so we made a random stop to IHOP and got food.  How yummy is that.  I got chocolate chip pancakes.  It was a nice midnight meal.  However, their were a lot of creepy people there.  Like, no joke.  ask Alicia.  It was a ton of fun and great bonding experience just talking, doing homework, and making schedules for the next day.

ihopI just want to wish you all a Happy late Groundhog Day.  I am not happy for the 6 weeks of winter though.  I hate being cold.  Maybe we should kidnap the groundhog so he can’t tell us that winter will be forever long.  It’s  a plan.  Let’s do it.

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