I Love Good Talks

5 09 2009

I have had a couple really good talks in the last couple days.  I think the biggest subjects has been timing and relationships.

With relationships I feel like too many people try to rush it.  I know its a commandment to get married but that doesn’t mean we need to be married at 18.  Deciding who you marry is one of the biggest decisions in your life and it isn’t something to take lightly.  Sure, you can’t set your expectations too high so that it isn’t possible for any man to reach it but you can’t settle either.  I have seen a number of relationships where one person wants to get married and the other isn’t ready.  Most of those relationships have ended.  The relationship has to move at a speed that is comfortable to both people.  Other couples get married only for the physical benefits.  That isn’t right either.  Real love is at a level where you don’t only connect physically, but also mentally and spiritually.  You have to be able to put yourself aside and want the other person to be happy no matter what.  In a relationship, both people should be striving to help the other person.  It cannot be one sided.  Someday, I will get married.  But you will not see me getting engaged very quickly.  I have to know the person I am making that commitment with and know that I he is the guy I can spend eternity with.

With Timing.  So many people are rushing, trying to do everything to get that relationship started or going to their goal.  Yes, you need to be working, but it can’t be forced.  Sometimes the lord wants things to just fall into place.  I know with me I have worried way too much about relationships and other people dating when I am not.  I have finally decided that I don’t need to have that in my life.  I haven’t dated in awhile (Kenny and I were only official for a day this last summer) but I have grown a lot in the last year.  I needed to learn how to take care of myself.  I have one roommate who has seen this transition in me and is amazed because I am a different person then I was a year ago.  I needed to do that before I could ever expect another man to love me.  I tell people that I’m done dating because I don’t want the pain anymore but honestly, if its meant to be, then it will happen.  It is all in the lord’s will.  I just hope that with whatever happens, I will be happy.

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